Before I Forget

At 58, Pierre confronts the stark realities of aging and reflects on his past life as a hustler filled with desire and indulgence. Now, he faces chronic insomnia and anxiety, greatly impacted by an HIV diagnosis that looms over him.

Pierre receives occasional visits from Marc, a 24-year-old hustler who yearns to reconnect with Pierre's former self. This relationship, however, lacks genuine depth, further emphasizing Pierre's loneliness and disconnection from the world.

Marc proposes a visit to a drag club, but Pierre refuses, primarily due to his attachment to his distinguished mustache. This rejection serves as a poignant reminder of the fleeting nature of youth and beauty, haunting Pierre's thoughts.

Pierre seeks out Jacques, a wealthy friend facing financial hardships. Their conversation evolves into a morbid competition of shared experiences of being older gigolos, reflecting the bitterness of their respective realities.

In a desperate attempt to escape his dissatisfaction, Pierre immerses himself in the vibrant life of Pigalle. Unfortunately, he is confronted with the stark limitations of his desires, further deepening his existential crisis.

An unexpected meeting with Paul, a former acquaintance and convict turned wealthy, shakes Pierre's world. Paul’s connection to Roland Barthes, a past love of Pierre's, highlights the pain of lost beauty and possibilities.

As Pierre reflects on his criminal past and hustle days, he grapples with life's unpredictability. The death of his benefactor, Toutoune, and his terminal illness intensify his musings on mortality and lost dreams.

Pierre wanders through the abandoned rooms of Toutoune's mansion, seeking remnants of his past. The decay around him prompts profound introspection about his unfulfilled desires and lost happiness.

In a bid to find hope, Pierre reaches out to his psychotherapist. Unfortunately, just as he opens up, the session is abruptly cut short, leaving him in an emotional limbo and still grappling with his feelings.

Back at home, Pierre obsessively considers the implications of his medication, fearing that treatment could degrade his self-esteem. This anxiety is particularly linked to his fear of losing his hair, symbolizing his struggle with aging.

In desperate times, Pierre seeks comfort through unconventional means, sharing intimate moments with a grocery deliveryman and advising a young hustler. These fleeting connections provide temporary solace in his tumultuous life.

In a courageous move towards self-acceptance, Pierre decides to explore the world of adult entertainment. Accompanied by Marc, he embarks on a night filled with provocative revelry at a local porn cinema, pushing his previous boundaries.