Oh, Mr. Porter!

William Porter is appointed as station master after previously messing up as wheeltapper. He takes charge of a remote Northern Irish railway station near the border. The move sets him up for the central conflict with local criminals and ghost stories.

Porter learns from Harbottle and Albert about the supposed ghosts of One-Eyed Joe the Miller who haunt the station. They recount deaths and disappearances of previous station masters with a tongue-in-cheek fear. The tales foreshadow the danger around the smugglers.

On his first morning, a cow sticks its head through the window of the old railway carriage where he sleeps. Harbottle has been milking the cow that was stolen in transit. The odd breakfast continues the rough, improvised life at the station.

The team eats bacon made from piglets they're supposed to be looking after for a local farmer. It underscores their unscrupulous, improvised life. Porter participates in this rough, unorthodox meal.

Porter attempts to renovate the station by painting it, signaling a fresh start. He decides to organize an excursion for locals, hoping to revive community life. This sets expectations for a peaceful, positive change.

A fight erupts in the pub as locals argue about where the excursion should go. Porter escapes to the landlord's rooms and meets a one-eyed man who calls himself Joe. Joe offers to buy all the tickets for the away game.

In conversation with Joe, Porter unwittingly agrees to transport a group of gun runners to the Irish Free State. Joe claims the odd packages are goalposts for the village game, deceiving Porter. The misunderstanding plants the central conflict of the story.

The gun runners divert the train down a disused branch line near the border. Porter notices the suspicious cargo but is reassured by Joe's explanation. The plan moves from planning to dangerous action.

Porter decides to track down the errant engine, determined to uncover the truth. He teams up with Harbottle and Albert to follow the trail. The pursuit leads them toward the derelict tunnel and the haunted windmill.

The trio locate the missing train in a derelict railway tunnel beneath a supposedly haunted windmill. They are captured by gun runners, heightening the peril. The eerie setting underscores the film's darkly comic tone.

Porter, Harbottle, and Albert escape by climbing the windmill and its sails and then attach the gun runners' carriages to their engine, the Gladstone. They race away from the border, burning improvised fuel to keep steam. The trio demonstrate courage and improvisation.

Porter writes a note and hides it in Harbottle's medicine bottle, then tosses it through the station master's office window as they pass a large station. The note alerts authorities to the gun runners' plan. This propels the chase back toward law enforcement.

The entire railway network goes into action, closing lines and re-routing trains in response to the alert. This mass coordination sets the stage for a final confrontation with the criminals. The scale of the response shows the community’s survival instincts.

Gladstone crashes into a siding where the gun runners are arrested by waiting police. The chase concludes with the criminals in custody and the operation nearly derailed, but the station team survives to tell the tale. The dramatic moment across the border confirms Porter's reluctant leadership.

A celebration follows the arrests, with Harbottle noting the engine's age and Porter claiming it is good for another ninety years. The engine explodes, bringing a dramatic end to the triumph. The trio show respect as they lower their hats.