Escape from L.A.

The year was 2000, marking a devastating period for Los Angeles as it was ravaged by a catastrophic earthquake, leaving the San Fernando Valley submerged in floodwaters and cut off from the rest of the mainland. In the chaos that ensued, a charismatic presidential candidate emerged, declaring that this calamity was divine retribution for the city’s sins. This self-anointed moral guardian seized power and moved the nation’s capital from Washington D.C. to his hometown of Lynchburg, Virginia, securing a lifetime term in office.

With an unyielding grip, he enacted a strict regime, outlawing everything from smoking and alcohol to premarital sex, firearms, and even red meat. Those who resisted faced a grim ultimatum: relinquish their American citizenship for permanent exile on the newly formed Los Angeles Island, or face a horrifying death by electrocution.

Fast forward to 2013, the United States introduced a menacing superweapon, the “Sword of Damocles,” a satellite system designed to target and incapacitate electronic devices worldwide. Driven by an insatiable thirst for power, the president intended to use this technology to subdue other nations and assert American dominance.

Yet, his own daughter, Utopia, was not in agreement. Disillusioned by her father’s tyranny, she daringly stole the remote control for the “Sword of Damocles” and fled to Los Angeles Island, aiming to deliver it to Cuervo Jones, a magnetic Peruvian revolutionary who had rallied an international coalition of developing nations to orchestrate a bold strike against the United States.

In the midst of this turmoil, Snake Plissken, a notorious outlaw facing imminent execution, was offered a lifeline by the government. In exchange for his freedom, he was assigned the daunting task of infiltrating Los Angeles Island to retrieve the stolen remote control, a mission that had previously ended in failure.

To guarantee compliance, one of the president’s agents infected Snake with a life-threatening virus, allowing him just 10 hours to complete his mission before succumbing to its lethal effects. The government viewed Utopia as a traitor and a mere pawn in their quest for global dominance, showing little concern for her safety.

Thus began Snake’s treacherous expedition, navigating the perilous waters to Los Angeles Island aboard a one-man submarine. In his journey, he encountered a host of colorful characters: Eddie - a crafty entrepreneur who offered interactive tours; Pipeline - an adventurous surfer; Taslima - a devout woman exiled for her beliefs; and Hershe Las Palmas (formerly known as Carjack Malone), a trans woman with a past connection to Snake. Together, they embarked on a dangerous quest to reclaim the remote and shift the trajectory of history.

As circumstances unfolded, Eddie’s betrayal came to light, prompting Cuervo to unleash a catastrophic strike on Lynchburg using the Sword of Damocles. The brutal warlord sought concessions from the United States, threatening further devastation unless his demands were met. However, Snake proved to be a formidable foe, ultimately breaking free and teaming up with Hershe and her rebellious forces.

Facing immense odds, they undertook a perilous journey via glider to the “Happy Kingdom” in Anaheim, where Cuervo awaited them and his army stood ready. A fierce battle ensued, during which Snake commandeered the remote, and Eddie ingeniously adapted one of his devices to align with its functions. As they made their escape by helicopter, Eddie managed to take down Cuervo, who retaliated by launching a rocket that struck their chopper before he succumbed to his injuries.

In the midst of chaos, Hershe’s forces were engulfed in flames, while Eddie narrowly evaded the fire as he leaped clear during liftoff. Snake and Utopia followed suit, abandoning their damaged helicopter as it plummeted over the mainland, alerting the president and his aides to their imminent arrival. Expecting a swift victory, they were astonished to find that both Snake and Utopia were in possession of remotes - sparking confusion about whether Snake had swapped them.

As Utopia stood condemned before the electric chair, Snake discovered that the virus threatening his life was merely a severe case of influenza, one that would soon pass. The president’s fury peaked when he aimed to use Utopia’s remote to counter a looming invasion in Florida, only for it to play a recorded introduction to one of Eddie’s tours instead.

Fuming with rage, the president ordered Snake’s execution, but the clever outlaw revealed himself to be a hologram projected from a tiny camera. Disillusioned by humanity’s ongoing class warfare, Snake activated Utopia’s remote, disabling the entire Sword of Damocles satellite network and plunging the world into darkness—at the very moment Utopia was spared from the electric chair.

With a flick of his wrist, Snake tossed aside the now-obsolete camera, lit a cigarette, and with a resigned exhale, remarked, > “Welcome to the human race,” before vanishing into the shadows.

Last Updated: November 21, 2024 at 10:12