In 1986, after spending three decades behind bars for a botched train heist, old friends Archie Long and Harry Doyle are finally released from prison. Filled with excitement, they plan to reconnect with their former gang members. However, while trying to embrace their newfound freedom, Archie succumbs to temptation when he spots a newspaper vending machine. Ignoring Harry's insistence that they have turned over a new leaf, Archie opens the machine and steals a newspaper. This act leads them to discover that the infamous "Gold Coast Flyer," the train they attempted to rob thirty years ago, is being retired, with its final journey occurring in just one week. To their frustration, they find that their past is not acknowledged in the article recounting the train’s legacy.
Their probation officer, Richie Evans, soon arrives, complimenting them on being a rare breed. However, their brief moment of nostalgia is shattered when an elderly man, Leon B. Little, tries to attack them with a shotgun but fails miserably, losing his glasses in the process. They manage to evade his clutches and collect Richie, with Archie taking the wheel, despite his annoyance with modern vehicle features.
At the police station, Sergeant Deke Yablonski is tasked with computerizing payroll, though he is more focused on monitoring the ex-cons he once locked up. At a bank, the duo gets embroiled in a robbery attempt, with Harry heroically stopping one of the thugs but hesitating to pull the trigger due to concerns of damaging his suit. Their later encounters with Richie establish the conflicts they face navigating a world that has changed in their absence, as Richie assigns Archie to work and places Harry in a retirement home.
As they venture into mundane retirement life, including meager food and increasingly frustrating jobs, Archie and Harry confront a harsh reality marked by nostalgia for their past life of crime. They engage in comical run-ins, from an aerobics studio that was once a boxing gym to Harry’s burgeoning romance with Belle, a vibrant aerobics instructor, and Archie’s futile attempts to keep up with modern trends while dating the stylish Skye Foster.
Their attempts to reintegrate spiral downward when they realize their old companions have either succumbed to their ailments or lost their marbles. A plot twist emerges when Leon resurfaces, determined to settle an old score, sending Richie into a panic as he finds himself taken hostage.
Desperate to return to their criminal roots, Harry and Archie impulsively plan an armored car heist, which leads them to leave with a mere bag of quarters. In the chaos that unfolds, including an unforeseen showdown with Leon, they end up commandeering the Gold Coast Flyer itself, with chaos ensuing as they hold the train and its passengers hostage to reclaim the spotlight.
As tensions mount, police converge, and the yarn continues to twist with betrayals and unexpected alliances. Ultimately, Harry and Archie embark on a wild ride across the border, hoping to charm their way out of legal troubles once more, proving that some bonds are unbreakable, no matter the passage of time. Their chaotic journey culminates with a comedic showdown that blends their past experiences with an absurd yet thrilling bid for freedom, showcasing that old criminals never truly retire.
