First Girl I Loved

While attending a high school girls’ softball match, yearbook editor Anne develops feelings for the team’s standout player, Sasha. She confides in her best friend Clifton, but his reaction is far from supportive, as he harbors his own feelings for her. In a moment of misguided impulse, Clifton kisses Anne, and in a devastating turn, he sexually assaults her, disregarding her protests during the encounter. After managing to push him away, she reveals to him that her affection is directed not towards a boy, but a girl, which prompts Clifton to viciously label her a “dyke” and accuse her of leading him on.

As Anne embarks on her journey to form a genuine connection with Sasha, she visits her under the pretense of gathering yearbook interviews. Their friendship flourishes over the following weeks, primarily through their texting, ultimately resulting in Anne comforting Sasha after her team suffers a crushing loss. However, Clifton’s jealousy manifests in continued hostility towards Anne, culminating in him sabotaging her bicycle and deliberately provoking her into a reaction during a yearbook class, leading to disciplinary consequences for Anne—just as he had intended.

Determined to ruin Anne’s life, he asks Sasha out. Yet, during a confrontation with his guidance counselor, Clifton confronts the reality of his actions and begins to grasp the gravity of raping Anne. After enduring reprimands at school and battling with her mother, Anne spends time with Sasha and manages to convince her to let her stay the night. That same evening, they venture out to a bar, engaging in flirtation with men but ultimately find themselves dancing together and sharing a kiss. Although the moment leaves Sasha perplexed, they eventually share a bed.

The following day, Sasha withdraws from Anne and chooses to date Clifton instead. Misunderstandings ensue, as Clifton misinterprets Sasha’s intentions towards him as an invitation to be her beard. Anne, desperately yearning to revive her connection with Sasha, openly admits her feelings but is met with coldness. Frustrated, Anne includes a photo in the school yearbook showing the two of them kissing, resulting in significant repercussions. The photo’s publication leads to a meeting involving the families of all parties, where Sasha claims the kiss was non-consensual, accusing Anne of taking advantage of her while intoxicated. In a moment of turmoil, Clifton takes the blame for the photo’s inclusion, revealing the awareness of many students regarding Anne and Sasha’s relationship.

As tensions rise, Sasha ambiguously acknowledges her confusion regarding consent, leading Anne and her mother to exit the meeting in silence. Determined to find closure, Anne later visits Jasmine, the owner of the bar where their bond deepened, to get tested for HIV. The two share a moment of reflection, during which Anne recounts another troubling encounter, ultimately facing her feelings of heartbreak for Sasha. Through this painful journey, she comes to terms with her identity, accepting her sexuality, and as she leaves, she treats herself to a new bike, symbolizing a fresh start.

Last Updated: November 03, 2024 at 15:18