The End of the Affair

Sarah left Bendrix because she made a vow to God during the V-1 bombing when she believed Bendrix was dying. She promised to dedicate her life to God if he survived, which led her to end the affair and return to her husband Henry. This religious commitment became the foundation of her sudden departure, creating the emotional distance that haunted both her and Bendrix for two years.

Earlier flashbacks show the intensity of their passion, making her abrupt departure seem even more mysterious and unexplained.

Sarah made a vow to God during the V-1 bomb explosion that destroyed Bendrix's apartment. When she believed he was dead, she desperately prayed for his survival and promised to dedicate her life to God if he lived. Miraculously, Bendrix survived despite being badly injured, and Sarah felt bound to honor her sacred promise, leading her to end their affair and choose a life of religious devotion over passionate love.

The bomb scene is presented as a pivotal turning point that profoundly changes the course of all three characters' lives.

Mr. Parkis reveals at Sarah's funeral that Henry's birthmark disappeared after Sarah kissed him one evening. This seemingly miraculous event suggests Sarah's touch carried some kind of spiritual or healing quality, possibly connected to her deep religious devotion and the vow she made to God. The event remains mysterious and is presented as an unexplained phenomenon that Parkis witnessed.

This detail adds to the sense of the supernatural or miraculous that surrounds Sarah's faith.

Sarah's diary, discovered after the bombing, provided Bendrix with the truth behind her sudden emotional shift and departure. It revealed her internal struggle between her passionate love for Bendrix and her religious vow to God. The diary exposed her feelings of being 'devoid of life' without Bendrix and showed that her coldness was a painful choice made to honor her sacred promise, not a lack of love for him.

The diary serves as the crucial narrative device that shifts the entire understanding of Sarah's motivations.

Bendrix opens his narrative by explicitly stating this is a 'diary of hate' because his primary emotion toward the end of the story is bitterness toward God. After Sarah dies and he loses his great love, he directs his anger at the divine power he believes took her away. However, the diary ultimately evolves as he processes his grief, and by the conclusion, he finds a grudging acceptance of faith himself.

The title creates dramatic irony, as the diary ultimately becomes about love, loss, and unexpected spiritual acceptance.

Father Richard Smythe is the priest who visits Sarah throughout the narrative, representing her deep involvement with her religious faith. His mysterious visits heighten Bendrix's paranoia and jealousy, as he suspects the priest of being another reason for Sarah's emotional distance. The priest symbolizes Sarah's spiritual life and the commitment that led her to abandon their affair, making him an embodiment of the force that took Sarah away from Bendrix.

The priest's presence is Constantly referenced by Bendrix as a source of his growing suspicion and insecurity.

The V-1 flying bomb that explodes near Bendrix's apartment serves as the catalytic event that transforms the entire narrative. It forces Sarah to confront her deepest fears about losing Bendrix, leading her to make the vow to God that ultimately ends their affair. The bombing also serves as a stark reminder of war's brutality and the fragility of life, themes that permeate the story's melancholic tone.

This traumatic event marks the literal and figurative explosion that divides the story into before and after.

Henry discovers Sarah is terminally ill and confronts her and Bendrix during their brief escape together. This devastating news transforms the situation entirely, instead of a passionate reunion, Bendrix chooses to stay by Sarah's side through her final days. The illness forces all three characters to confront their mortality and genuine feelings, ultimately bringing Bendrix and Sarah to a place of reconciliation and peaceful goodbye.

The news marks the beginning of the bittersweet conclusion where love is acknowledged despite impending loss.

Sarah agreed to escape with Bendrix because she finally admitted she felt 'devoid of life' without him. After reading Bendrix's heartfelt letter expressing his emotional devastation at losing her, she couldn't deny her feelings anymore. The brief weekend escape represents their last chance to reclaim their past love, though it is tragically cut short by Henry's discovery of her illness.

This moment of vulnerability directly precedes the devastating revelation that transforms their reunion into a farewell.

After Sarah's death, Bendrix attends her funeral and learns of the mysterious birthmark incident from Mr. Parkis. He returns to the empty house and decides to finish his 'diary of hate,' though its contents have evolved from pure bitterness to include reflections on love and loss. The ending shows Bendrix reaching a fragile peace, he acknowledges the existence of God and offers a prayer, suggesting he has found some resolution through grief, even though he remains forever bound to his memory of Sarah.

The final acceptance represents Bendrix's complete character arc from hatred to a grudging spiritual understanding.