Never Give a Sucker an Even Break

Fields, playing himself, arrives at the Hollywood studio, admiring a billboard for his previous film, The Bank Dick. He encounters hecklers and minor mishaps, including a sassy waitress called 'Blimpy Pie'. His niece Gloria Jean is on her way to rehearse songs, showcasing her classical singing talent, while Fields attempts to pitch his surreal script to producer Franklin Pangborn.

While Pangborn reads Fields’ script, the story unfolds through a series of fantasy scenes. Fields and Gloria Jean are depicted flying to an exotic location on an open-air observation deck airplane, with the narrative blending reality and fantasy.

On an airplane, Fields encounters eccentric characters, including a large Turk whom he hits with a croquet mallet and then convinces he was not responsible. The scene emphasizes the surreal, humorous tone of the story Fields is pitching.

Fields accidentally drops his flask over the side of the plane’s observation deck and jumps after it, landing safely in a secluded nest atop a high cliff, occupied by a beautiful young blonde and her cynical mother, Mrs. Hemoglobin.

Fields directs Gloria Jean to a Russian village where she performs 'Ochi Chernye' for peasants. He then joins her, revealing that Mrs. Hemoglobin is wealthy, and ultimately finds her surrounded by a rival suitor whom he disposes of by kicking him over the cliff.

Fields is about to marry Mrs. Hemoglobin, but Gloria Jean convinces him that it’s a bad idea, prompting a quick exit from the scene, signaling the collapse of the fantasy story.

Back at the studio, Pangborn orders Fields to leave after tiring of the absurd script. Fields seeks solace at a soda fountain, humorously noting that a scene was cut by the censors, breaking the fourth wall.

Gloria Jean learns that Fields has been dismissed and threatens to quit unless he is reinstated. They plan to travel together, and she heads into a shop to buy new clothes, indicating their close bond and escape from Hollywood's confines.

A middle-aged matron asks Fields for help reaching the maternity hospital where her daughter is giving birth. Fields volunteers, driving frantically through Los Angeles streets, facing traffic chaos and a fire truck, to deliver the woman.

Fields wrecks his car in a rush to reach the hospital, arriving shaken but unharmed. Gloria Jean, having just arrived by taxi, checks if Fields is alright, expressing her love for him despite his antics.

The film concludes with Gloria Jean affirming her affection for Uncle Bill, highlighting their bond despite the chaos and absurdity they experienced, wrapping up the humorous and surreal narrative.