A top-secret chemical formula has been stolen by STENCH, the Society for the Total Extinction of Non-Conforming Humans. The chief of the Secret Service reluctantly dispatches the only agent left, Desmond Simkins and his three trainees — Harold Crump, Daphne Honeybutt, and Charlie Bind — to recover it. What follows is a globe-trotting, farcical showdown packed with disguises, misfires, and surprising twists that test not just their nerve but their ability to think on their feet.
The quartet splits up and travels separately to Vienna, where each agent makes contact with Carstairs, who, played by Jim Dale, assumes a different disguise for every rendezvous. The plan is chaotic at times, yet oddly efficient in its own haphazard way. The trail then leads them to Cafe Mozart, a setting that feels almost too elegant for the bungling would-be heroes, before the journey continues to Algiers. There, they stumble upon STENCH operatives The Fat Man and Milchmann, portrayed by Eric Pohlmann and Victor Maddern. The two impostors are slyly disguised as a milkman, and a confrontation with Carstairs results in the sleight of hand turning into a knockout blow—the Fat Man floors Carstairs in a single, comically brutal moment.
Back in their own shoes, [Daphne Honeybutt] and Harold Crump attempt to reclaim the formula in a bold, theatrical stunt. They disguise themselves as dancing girls at Hakim’s Fun House, with the Fat Man nearby in a moment of relaxed menace. The mission is not straightforward, of course, and the agents soon cross paths with the enigmatic Lila, a figure whose loyalties are as murky as the foggy streets they thread through. Lila becomes a pivotal enigma: is she ally, foe, or something more complicated? The scenes at Hakim’s Fun House are a carnival of misdirection, flirtation, and near-misses, punctuated by Daphne’s exceptional memory—she manages to memorize the formula in a single, stunning mental capture.
As the stakes rise, the four agents are captured by STENCH. In the ensuing interrogation, Daphne faces Dr Crow, a chilling mastermind at the helm of STENCH played by Judith Furse. The tension tightens when Daphne finally succumbs to pressure only after an accidental head injury, revealing the formula under the stress of the moment. Escapes follow in a tense sequence: Simpkins, Crump, and Bind break free from their cell, recovering Daphne and Dr Crow’s taped recitation of the formula, only to be swept into an underground automated factory process that seems unstoppable. A desperate stand leads to a dramatic reversal when Lila suddenly draws a gun on Dr Crow, forcing the order of events to flip in their favor.
With the enemy pressing the advantage, Simpkins seizes the moment and sets the STENCH base to self-destruct, sprinting toward safety with the others and with Lila and Dr Crow in tow. The lift climbs toward the surface, and a startling revelation unfolds: Lila is a double agent for SNOG, the Society for the Neutralising of Germs, and she confesses a crush on Simpkins. The reveal adds a human twist to the escalating chaos, underscoring that in this world of spies, loyalties are often as fluid as the smoke that chokes the room above them. The lift breaks through to the surface, and the truth hits home—the headquarters of STENCH lies right below the streets of London.
When the dust—smoke, really—clears, the STENCH fortress is left to wreak its own smoke-filled fate. The final act closes on a note that the chief’s office above ground has narrowly avoided catastrophe, while the subterranean citadel crumbles in a dramatic self-destruction. The world spins back to a precarious calm, with the Secret Service left to pick up the pieces and the four agents acknowledging that, despite their bumbling methods, they have secured the day—though not without a hefty dose of comedic chaos along the way. The tale ends with a wink to the absurd, a reminder that espionage can be strange, dangerous, and strangely harmless all at once.
