With You, Without You

Sarathsiri, a forty-five-year-old man, lives in a two-story building in a remote town surrounded by tea plantations. The ground floor is a pawn shop, and he dwells on the upper floor, a quiet, solitary existence shaped by routine and the hum of a television that mostly shows wrestling matches. He keeps his distance from others, letting the world pass him by as he tends to his shop and his small, isolated life.

One day, Selvi, a twenty-four-year-old Tamil girl from Kilinochchi, visits the pawn shop to pawn a collection of items, many of which are nearly worthless. She is staying with her two aunts—one a widow with two small children and the other a bitter, unmarried middle-aged woman. An older widowed businessman also pursues marriage to her, and around the same time, the pawn-shop owner makes a quiet, persistent move to win her hand as well. The tension between obligation and desire threads through this moment, setting the stage for a life-changing choice on Selvi’s side.

Selvi eventually elopes with him, stepping into a life marked by necessity and fear rather than romance. Once they are together, he tries to ground her in the pawning business and emphasizes saving money to buy a plot of tea land, a future he claims will bring stability and dignity. Yet whenever Selvi shows affection or curiosity, his responses grow cold, as if a reservoir of emotion has been sealed away. The relationship unfolds against the backdrop of his stern pragmatism, and the gap between her longing and his reticence widens.

Seeking a shared moment of happiness, they go to a South Indian Tamil movie—Selvi’s favorite actor, Viyay, is the star. The experience brings a rare spark to her, a momentary joy in a world that feels heavy with unspoken rules and unfulfilled promises. Yet Sarathsiri’s bearing remains cool and dispassionate, and he disparages the trip as a waste of money, leaving Selvi both disappointed and perplexed by the man she married.

Her curiosity about him grows, but he remains evasive, offering only glimpses rather than full truths about his past. The dynamic shifts when Gamini, a friend of Sarathsiri, shows up unannounced one night. They go out for a drink and return home late, and the next morning Gamini wakes early, apologizing for the disturbance. Selvi overhears a revealing conversation and learns for the first time that Sarathsiri is an ex-Sri Lankan Army soldier. The revelation shocks her, and she expresses clear displeasure, feeling that the man she married may carry a burden and history that put her at risk.

When Gamini leaves, Sarathsiri follows Selvi to the place where he had once proposed to her. That night, Selvi confronts him about his army past and asks what difference it would have made if she had known earlier. He answers in a way that avoids direct fault, while Selvi recounts a painful history of her own family: two brothers killed by the Sri Lankan army, and parents who brought her to this inland region to save her from a fate she barely escapes from—rape and violence at the hands of soldiers. Her words cut deeply, and Sarathsiri’s silence in the face of her pain deepens the rift between them.

In a moment of fear and control, Selvi discovers a revolver hidden in a drawer and raises it to Sarathsiri’s forehead. A sudden movement on his part causes her to rethink her action, and she lowers the weapon. The next day she discovers the revolver is missing, reinforcing her sense that he is watching her closely. Her emotional state deteriorates into depression and seizures, and Sarathsiri witnesses her decline with a reserved, almost clinical detachment. She even sings at one point, seemingly unaware of his presence, while he quietly observes. Then he confesses—trying to redeem himself—about the guilt he bears from his past as a soldier, including false testimonies about a Tamil girl’s rape and murder. He explains why he left the army and attempts to reconnect with her, promising to show her affection and to restart their life together. He also reveals that his past actions in the army had haunted him, and his confession is meant to steady her, even as it unsettles her further.

To win back her trust, he sells his pawn shop and buys things intended to make her happy. He even promises to take her to India, a dream she has long held. He returns the items she had pawned, hoping to restore some sense of normalcy, but her response remains muted; the gesture does not immediately rekindle her warmth or enthusiasm. The emotional tension intensifies as his efforts to repair the fractured relationship clash with the weight of her trauma and the shadows of his past.

In a pivotal moment, Selvi agrees to a conditional path toward forgiveness. If she can be forgiven, she would become the wife he desires. Overjoyed, he showers her with affection, kissing her from head to toe, then leaves to secure air tickets for their trip to India. She takes up her rosary and prays, a quiet act of reflection that signals a turning point. With a decision looming over both of them, Selvi’s choice will ripple through their lives in ways neither could have anticipated, and the world they share is forever altered by what follows.

Last Updated: October 01, 2025 at 10:23