J-Men Forever

Lightning Bug M.G. Kelly bursts onto the scene with a surreal blend of techno-sarcasm and menace, turning fear into a weapon. The first victims are high-profile industry figures: square record moguls Lawrence Milk and Jive Davis, who are either hypnotized or otherwise manipulated into taking their own lives, and bandleader Screen Dorsey, whose car is booby-trapped and sent careening off a cliff. The threat is as much psychological as it is physical, and the methodical cruelty behind each act sets the tone for a world where public culture is controlled by a single, unsettling force.

At the heart of the resistance stands the J-Men, a quirky, government-backed band of operatives assembled by the legendary J. Eager Believer. Leading this eclectic crew is The Chief Peter Bergman, a figure both authoritative and a touch comically pompous, who navigates a constellation of eccentric officers and agents. His sidekick, Agent Barton Phil Proctor, provides a mix of bluster and occasional incompetence that parries with the more serious elements of the team. The J-Men roster features a rotating cast of characters—Agents Spike, Claire and Lance, Buzz Cufflink, Yank Smellfinger, James Armhole, Rocket Jock (a nod to the classic Commando Cody), the Lone Star, the Caped Madman (a wink to Captain Marvel), Spy Swatter, Sleeve Coat, Juicy Withers, and Admiral Balzy—each contributing in their own stylized, often over-the-top way. Several of these figures appear to meet grim, seemingly inescapable fates along the way, underscoring the perilous nature of their mission and the serialized tone of the tale.

In their ongoing struggle, the J-Men coordinate with the F.C.C. (Federal Culture Control) to counter Lightning Bug’s influence. Their counteroffensive leans on M.U.S.A.C.—the Military Underground Sugared Airwaves Command—and a plan to use Muzac as a weapon to disrupt the villain’s hold over the public mind. The plan culminates in a bomb targeted at Lightning Bug’s lunar base, a bold bid to strike at the heart of the villain’s power and, by extension, the source of his cultural grip.

Yet Lightning Bug proves to be one step ahead. He seizes the moment by turning his own stereo to an ear-splitting volume, blowing up the Moon before the J-Men can execute their strike. The catastrophic blast also destroys New York City, an outcome the J-Men regard as a twisted “double victory” that seals the villain’s control in a shocking, if sardonic, reversal of expectations. The scale of the disaster is matched by the absurdity of the means, a hallmark of the film’s campy, pulp-inflected energy.

As the dust settles, Agent Barton faces the somber task of inventory. He recites a list of J-Men who allegedly gave their lives in the epic struggle against the Bug, a moment that is met with a mix of mawkish solemnity and stubborn bravado from The Chief. The mood shifts when The Chief’s laughter erupts, followed by a wry realization: J-Men are portrayed as flexible, adaptable survivors who escape even the direst perils. The film closes on a meta-note, with the final clips (from the following week’s edition of the serial) hinting at how each J-Man evaded catastrophe and found a way to keep fighting, leaving audiences with a mischievous tease about future adventures.

Throughout the narrative, the clash between control and chaos is presented with a blend of tongue-in-cheek humor and earnest heroism. The villain’s technicolor schemes—hypnosis, explosive traps, and oversized sound—are contrasted against the J-Men’s improvisational teamwork and offbeat gadgets. The result is a distinctive hybrid flavor: a pulpy, self-aware caper that revels in its own patter while delivering a brisk, if surreal, sense of forward momentum. The dynamic between Lightning Bug’s gleeful menace and the J-Men’s beleaguered, at times bumbling, resilience creates a tonal fuse that makes the story feel both dangerous and entertainingly ridiculous.

Key moments stay anchored by the human (or semi-human) beats: the sudden, shocking demises that punctuate the early sequence; the almost ceremonial recitation of fallen allies; and the theatrical, almost cartoonish scale of the confrontations. The characters move through a world where government oversight of culture, pop icons, and broadcast power are sources of peril as much as weapons of resistance. It is a story that leans into its own exaggeration while still grounding its stakes in the idea that culture—whether music, comics, or cinema—can be weaponized, defended, or reclaimed through ingenuity, courage, and a touch of audacious absurdity.

Last Updated: October 09, 2025 at 12:30