The unassuming pet photographer, Bryan Lighthouse [Dave Annable], is thrust into a high-stakes blend of action and romance when he is forced to marry Masha Nikitin [Katharine McPhee] to pay a debt to her criminal parents against his will. Masha's father, Vlatko [Ken Davitian], arranges the marriage to secure a green card for his daughter, under the strict condition that Bryan cannot touch her. The couple heads to a remote tropical resort in Tahiti for their honeymoon, where a shadow from Masha's past follows them: her former lover Brick [Vinnie Jones], who still loves her even if she does not return the feeling.
During a romantic outing to a secluded beach tucked inside a rainforest, Masha is kidnapped, leaving Bryan alarmed and desperate to find her. Back at the resort, his psychotic assistant Tonya [Mena Suvari], who harbors feelings for him, tracks him down; after attempting to pressure him into sex, she agrees to help locate Masha but warns that she will force him someday in the future. With the ransom chatter beginning, Bryan seeks help from Lani [Tia Carrere], a hotel waitress who lightens the mood with a suggestion to turn a breakup into a memorable experience, while Brick storms in, misreading the situation and leaving a trail of chaos in his wake. He finds a condom Tonya had brought on the unmade bed and, convinced Bryan targeted Masha, informs Masha's father, which inflames the already volatile situation. Unbeknownst to them, the real kidnappers are two INS agents, Agent Meyers [Howard Bishop] and Agent Ross [Kevin Dunn], who are pulling the strings behind the scene.
Ernesto [Rob Schneider], Bryan's cousin and helicopter pilot, is summoned to help, and a chaotic chase unfolds as the four heroes pursue the truth. A dramatic escape follows in Ernesto's helicopter, but the ride ends with a crash near a fishing village. In the aftermath, Ernesto and Tonya share a kiss, while Brick reveals that he is in on the kidnapping scheme; separated, Lani and Bryan find themselves wandering in opposite directions. Masha, meanwhile, escapes from a surfboard shack prison and reunites with Bryan, who is driving a jeep stolen from Brick after a failed attempt to neutralize him. The pair crash the jeep, and the vehicle catches fire before they bolt on foot toward safety.
The duo eventually finds a friendly, old-time village along a river, where they share a big dinner, dancing, and a sense of belonging that briefly makes them forget their peril. It is here that Masha and Bryan finally become intimate for the first time, and the village cheers at their union. Yet the threat closes in when the agents and Brick close the net, forcing a showdown on a cliff by the sea. Lani and Ernesto arrive in the helicopter, catching Brick off guard. Seizing the distraction, Masha grabs Brick's gun and shoots him in the back, sending him tumbling off the cliff with Bryan. In the surf, Bryan surfaces unharmed, and the couple is joyfully reunited with Masha's family.
Vlatko offers Bryan his blessing for a real marriage to Masha, but Bryan declines, choosing instead to protect the life they’ve built together and not rush into a formal vow. Heartbroken, Masha continues with her own life, taking dance lessons, yet a moment later she leaves the studio to find Bryan waiting outside, ready to propose again. As the crowd applauds, the two share a kiss, and the camera pulls away, leaving their future open but hopeful.
