Calvin, played by Marlon Wayans, finds himself facing the world anew after being released from prison, only to realize he's a midget upon his exit. His former partner-in-crime, wannabe rapper Percy, portrayed by Shawn Wayans, picks him up with a plan to snag a diamond from a nearby jewelry store, promising each $50,000 as a way to jumpstart Percy’s music career.
Meanwhile, at an upscale restaurant, Darryl, portrayed by Shawn Wayans, is chatting with his friend Jimmy about waiting for the right moment to share his dreams of parenthood. The excitement escalates when Vanessa, brilliantly played by Kerry Washington, arrives to reveal she’s just received a promotion. However, to Darryl’s dismay, her aspiration to have a baby doesn’t align with his desires.
As Calvin and Percy execute their heist, the plot thickens when Calvin, hidden inside a duffel bag, cunningly manages to saw off the diamond from underneath a table. Chaos ensues when a dog unexpectedly joins Calvin in the bag, leading to a frantic chase after their getaway is interrupted by the police. The duo disguises themselves in an attempt to retrieve the diamond, leading them to hatch a ludicrous plan to masquerade Calvin as a baby to reclaim their prize.
The comedic whirlwind continues as Darryl and Vanessa welcome their "baby" into their home, unaware of Calvin’s true identity. The situation becomes increasingly absurd: from Darryl's awkward diaper-changing attempts to the unexpected presence of Vanessa's suspicious father. As Calvin wreaks havoc while pretending to be an infant—swallowing the diamond and wreaking havoc at Darryl's birthday party—the stakes rise.
Tension mounts when they encounter the grim mafia kingpin Walken, portrayed by Chazz Palminteri, who demands the diamond while threatening Percy. A series of hilarious misadventures unfolds, including Calvin’s accidental beer drinking at a hockey game and a dramatic revelation where Darryl discovers Calvin isn’t who he seems.
While Darryl contemplates fatherhood and Calvin faces his criminal past, they come to unexpected blows with Walken’s men. Ultimately, amidst all the laughter and troubles, the film culminates in a heartwarming conclusion reflecting on family, friendship, and the absurdities of life. Through it all, Calvin, despite being the unlikely "baby," finds a sense of belonging in this chaotic yet comedic journey, leading to a memorable finale where everyone’s destinies are intertwined.
