In Lieu of Flowers (2013) Timeline Explained – Every Event in Order

Eric is grieving the loss of his girlfriend Gretchen, who he dated for two months. While the breakup isn't due to death, Lazarus Lives is a support group for anyone who is bereft, not just those who have lost someone to death. Eric initially resists admitting his grief publicly, only acknowledging it when pressed by the moderator, showing how his emotional state mirrors that of people dealing with profound loss.

Foreshadowing: The opening voicemail asking Eric to pick up his things from Gretchen's apartment establishes the unresolved nature of their breakup.

• grief support group
• Lazarus Lives
• Eric breakup
• emotional loss

During a dermatology appointment, Eric learns that the growths on his body are caused by a sexually transmitted infection. The doctor implies this couldn't have come from Eric himself, it had to be passed to him by someone else. This forces Eric to realize that his girlfriend Gretchen must have been unfaithful and passed the infection to him, adding betrayal to his grief.

Foreshadowing: Earlier flashbacks show Eric thinking about Gretchen, hinting the relationship still weighs on him beyond the initial breakup.

• STD
• infidelity
• Gretchen
• Eric diagnosis

Rachel's husband Robert J. Austin died, which is why she attends a memorial service for him at the church. She wears her wedding band and is seen looking at old photos of them together on the beach, throwing them into the surf in a moment of grief before retrieving them. Her unresolved mourning shapes her emotional state throughout the film.

Foreshadowing: The scene where Rachel discovers the memorial service notice on the church bulletin board establishes her status as a widow from the beginning.

• Rachel husband
• Robert Austin
• widow
• memorial service

When Eric's roommate Tony learns how he met Rachel, he urges Eric to tell her about Gretchen, saying it's necessary for honesty. Eric becomes evasive and leaves on the train instead of explaining. His reluctance stems from wanting to move forward without revisiting the painful discovery about Gretchen's infidelity, though keeping this secret creates tension in his emerging relationship with Rachel.

Foreshadowing: Eric's flashbacks to his time with Gretchen during the bar scene hint at unresolved feelings and trauma from the betrayal.

• Eric secret
• Gretchen
• honesty
• relationship

When Eric visits a dermatologist, the assistant mentions the doctor's daughter is present. This doctor is revealed to be Dr. Rice, who is Rachel's father. Eric remains unaware of this connection, creating dramatic irony for the audience as the two grieving characters' worlds intersect through this medical detail.

Foreshadowing: The passing comment about the doctor's daughter plants a thread that connects the characters' separate storylines.

• Dr. Rice
• Rachel father
• dermatologist
• connection

Lazarus Lives is a grief support group for people who are bereft, those dealing with any form of significant loss. Eric finds a flyer for the group outside the church and later attends a meeting. Rachel also attends and shares her story of losing her husband. The group provides a space for both characters to process their grief, and it's where they first meet.

Foreshadowing: Eric accepting the flyer outside the church directly leads to his attendance at the meeting where he encounters Rachel.

• support group
• grief
• Lazarus Lives
• bereavement

Sitting on the beach, Rachel looks at photographs of her and her husband. In a moment of passionate grief, she throws the photos into the surf, seemingly trying to let go of her past. However, she immediately runs into the water to retrieve them, showing the complicated pull between wanting to move forward and being unable to release her memories of her late husband.

Foreshadowing: This scene establishes Rachel's conflicted emotional state, she wants to grieve but also clings to what she's lost.

• wedding photos
• grief
• beach
• Rachel husband

Rachel tells Eric she offered to host an engagement party at her Sag Harbor house for a close girlfriend who is getting married. The event stresses her because she is still grieving her husband's death while having to celebrate someone else's upcoming marriage, a painful reminder of what she has lost. She initially declines Eric's help but later calls to invite him, showing her need for connection despite her grief.

Foreshadowing: Earlier scenes show Rachel dodging messages from friends, hinting at her difficulty handling others' milestones while in mourning.

• engagement party
• Sag Harbor
• Rachel
• grief celebration

After Eric explains how he met Rachel, Tony tells him he needs to explain about Gretchen. Rather than facing this conversation, Eric becomes evasive and takes off on the train to clear his head. His flight reflects his unresolved pain over Gretchen's betrayal and his fear of confronting that history while starting something new with Rachel.

Foreshadowing: Eric's pattern of running, both literally and emotionally, has been established since the opening scenes.

• Eric running
• train
• avoidance
• Tony advice

During a guys' night out, Eric is distracted and fixates on a girl at the bar, triggering flashbacks to his time with Gretchen. When his friend is rude to the waitress, who is actually an old friend of Eric's, he explodes at his friend for being a jackass and storms out. The outburst reveals Eric's heightened emotional state and his inability to engage with normal social situations while grieving.

Foreshadowing: This scene shows Eric's grief manifesting as anger and isolation, building on the emotional tension established earlier.

• bar fight
• Eric anger
• Gretchen flashbacks
• waitress