Wits of the Brats

Tou Kuan bullies his teacher, displaying wealth and arrogance. His greedy uncle Shih Chun plots to undermine Tou Kuan's mother in order to seize the family fortune. Tou Kuan and Mai Song clean up the mess and pretend to study, which surprisingly earns their mother's approval.

Tou Kuan and Mai Song face a martial arts master and his pupil and defeat them with ease. The victory leaves Tou Kuan bored, hungry for a harder contest. The two friends ride onward, confident in their wit and prowess.

Tou Kuan defeats the famed mahjong player Mr Blinker and forces him to swallow mahjong blocks to prove his skill. The triumph is marred when Tou Kuan accidentally punches Mr Blinker’s father, a local official, forcing them to flee. Mai Song remains by Tou Kuan’s side as they escape trouble.

Shih Chun hires the Taoist assassin known as '3 Eyes' to remove Tou Kuan. A brief fight with a constable disguised as a customer ends with the constable dead, revealing the assassin’s fearsome reputation. 3 Eyes declares Tou Kuan must leave Guandong and promises to send another killer on his journey.

Shih Chun convinces Tou Kuan's mother to send him away to search for a wife. Mai Song persuades Tou Kuan to travel north to Beijing to prove himself against the 'Three Northern Witty Young Masters'. The journey toward the capital begins.

Before boarding a passenger ship, Mai Song promises Tou Kuan there will be 'entertainment'. A 3 Eyes henchman tries to kill Tou Kuan, but he evades the assault. A muscular ally hired by Mai Song defeats the assassin, thinking he fought Tou Kuan, and they carry on toward the north.

The pair reach northern Beiping and rest in a straw field before entering a restaurant where they meet Che Zai, a bold con artist with wealth and a flintlock pistol. Tou Kuan buys the pistol to gain leverage and they plan their next move. They press on toward the imperial guard recruitments.

At the imperial guard recruitment near the Forbidden City, a court employee lures them into a 'shortcut' that becomes a surgery room for castration of volunteers to become eunuchs. They barely escape with their lives. Tou Kuan receives a fake yellow magua vest as a supposed immunity, and Mai Song covers their escape with a gunshot.

Ren Zhen-hao, a Western-appearing womanizer, challenges Tou Kuan to flirt with a woman in red at a snooker club. The plan backfires when the woman proves to be a skilled fighter. Zhen-hao later tries to woo the daughter of a Russian ambassador and the trio infiltrates the Russian consulate.

The three northern Masters introduce the master thief known as '3 Hands'. He effortlessly steals Tou Kuan's money sack while restrained, impressing the group. The bet centers on whether 3 Hands can steal a valuable jade locket from the Russian consulate before sunrise.

During the night, 4 Eyes infiltrates the consulate to kill Tou Kuan and is fought by Tou Kuan, Zhen-hao, and 3 Hands. 4 Eyes appears invulnerable to melee until his eyeglasses are destroyed, after which Mai Song shoots him in the leg. They force him to reveal the conspirators behind the plot.

3 Eyes returns to kill Tou Kuan, and a climactic fight ensues in a torture room. The assassin is defeated when the combined weight of the four men collapses the spike device, and 3 Hands helps remove Zhen-hao's armor to reveal the victor. Tou Kuan then reunites with the Russian woman inside a jail, and in the finale he and Mai Song bring their Russian wives to Guandong to meet Tou Kuan's mom, who arrives in Western clothing.