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What We Wanted (2020) movie poster

Characters & Themes

What We Wanted (2020) Characters, Setting & Themes Explained

Release, runtime and language
2020 · 93 min · German
Echo score 63
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Directed by
Ulrike Kofler
Starring
Anna Unterberger, Elyas M'Barek, Fedor Teyml, Iva Höpperger, Klaus Huhle, Lavinia Wilson

Seeking respite at a beautiful Sardinian resort, a couple finds their relationship tested by the challenges of starting a family. As they grapple with fertility struggles and contemplate their future, the arrival of a lively and disruptive family next door intensifies the strain on their marriage, forcing them to confront uncomfortable truths about themselves and their bond.

On this page (8)
  1. 1 Where to watch
  2. 2 Characters explained (3)
  3. 3 Where & when it takes place
  4. 4 Themes & meaning (4)
  5. 5 Character & meaning questions
  6. 6 Movie threads
  7. 7 Movies like What We Wanted
  8. 8 Every angle
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3 main characters · contains spoilers

What We Wanted Characters Explained: Who Is Who

The main characters of What We Wanted (2020), heroes and villains: what drives them, how they change over the course of the story and what each of them reveals about the film's bigger ideas.

  • Alice (Lavinia Wilson)

    Alice is a married woman whose infertility and unspoken grief weigh heavily on her. During the vacation she grapples with longing, envy, and emotional exhaustion, leading to a brief disappearance that becomes a turning point. She is introspective, capable of tenderness, and ultimately seeks grounding and reconciliation with her partner.

    • 💬 communication
    • 💔 grief
    • 💪 resilience
  • Niklas (Elyas M'Barek)

    Niklas is Alice's husband, sharing the burden of infertility but expressing his pain through tension and withdrawal. He struggles to balance empathy with frustration, and his arc focuses on rebuilding closeness and trust with Alice after their ordeal.

    • 💬 communication
    • 💔 grief
    • 🧭 self-discovery
  • David (Fedor Teyml)

    David is the neighbour's teenage son whose overdose attempt acts as a catalyst for reflection among the adults. His crisis foregrounds vulnerability and the fragility of family life, and it forces the couple to confront the reality of loss in their own lives.

    • ⚠️ crisis
    • 💔 youth vulnerability
    • 🫶 compassion

Last updated: February 17, 2026 at 17:13

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Setting

Where and When Does What We Wanted Take Place?

The setting of What We Wanted (2020): the year and time period, the places and locations, and how they shape the characters, the mood and the tension of the story.

Time period

Present day

The events unfold in contemporary times, within a European setting that mirrors current social dynamics around infertility. The plot revolves around real-world challenges such as IVF disappointment, marital strain, and the search for meaning after loss. The vacation to Sardinia provides a time-bound setting within which these dynamics play out.

Location

Austria, Sardinia (Italy)

Austria serves as the couple's home base, a calm, orderly backdrop to their private grief. They escape to a Sardinian resort, where sun, sea, and vacation routines contrast with their longing to have a child. The holiday setting introduces a lively neighboring family, intensifying the tension between what they have and what they yearn for.

  • 🇦🇹 Austria
  • 🏝️ Sardinia
  • Italy
  • 🧭 Vacation backdrop

Last updated: February 17, 2026 at 17:13

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4 major themes

What We Wanted Meaning: Themes & Message Explained

What is What We Wanted (2020) really about? The emotional, social and philosophical themes the film keeps returning to, its symbolism and the message beneath the surface.

  • Grief and Loss

    Alice and Niklas confront the deep grief of infertility throughout the vacation. The failed IVF attempts frame their conversations and distance, forcing them to face what they have lost. Alice's momentary disappearance during the trip becomes a symbolic turning point, suggesting an attempt to escape and then re-ground herself. The film portrays grief as a slow, private process that reshapes the couple's future.

  • Parenthood Desire

    The couple's longing for a child presses on their relationship, amplifying envy and comparison with the neighbors' family. The presence of children nearby serves as a constant reminder of what they cannot have. The vacation's social environment intensifies this desire, forcing them to examine what parenthood means to them beyond biology. By the end, the couple begins to redefine their future away from the fantasy of a child.

  • Communication

    Tensions simmer as unspoken grief and inadequacy erode their communication. The distance grows when they avoid discussing their pain, making small conflicts feel larger. The neighboring family and the crisis with the neighbor's son act as catalysts that reveal cracks in their relationship. The film suggests that honest dialogue is essential to weather grief and move forward.

  • Healing

    Despite the turmoil, the trip becomes a crucible for personal growth. Alice's return after disappearing grounds her and signals a shift toward acceptance. The neighbor's crisis and the shared vulnerability help them reconnect, leading to a fragile peace and a future defined by choice rather than expectation. The ending leaves the couple open to redefining happiness without a child.

Last updated: February 17, 2026 at 17:13

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Character & theme questions

What We Wanted Characters & Meaning: Your Questions Answered

The questions people ask about What We Wanted (2020): who the characters really are, their relationships, what the symbols mean, where it takes place and what the movie is really about. Each answer contains spoilers.

Q1

Where is What We Wanted set?

The movie takes place primarily in Sardinia, Italy, where a couple escapes for a vacation at a resort. Austria serves as their home base, representing their normal life before the trip. The contrast between the calm, orderly Austrian setting and the sun-soaked Sardinian vacation backdrop highlights their emotional distance from everyday life.

  • sardinia
  • austria
  • setting
  • resort
  • vacation location
Q2

What is the main theme of What We Wanted?

The film centers on grief and loss surrounding infertility. The couple's struggle to conceive and failed IVF attempts create a deep emotional burden that permeates their vacation. This theme of private grief reshaping their future drives the entire narrative.

  • grief
  • loss
  • infertility
  • ivf
  • theme
Q3

What does the movie explore about wanting a child?

The film examines how the intense desire for parenthood can strain a relationship. The couple's longing for a child creates envy and comparison, especially when surrounded by families during their vacation. By the end, they begin to accept redefining their future beyond biological parenthood.

  • parenthood
  • child desire
  • infertility
  • family
  • couple
Q4

Who are the main characters in What We Wanted?

The film focuses on Alice and Niklas, a married couple dealing with infertility struggles. Alice is introspective and burdened by unspoken grief, while Niklas expresses his pain through tension and withdrawal. A neighboring family, particularly their teenage son David, becomes a catalyst for the couple's reflection.

  • alice
  • niklas
  • characters
  • couple
  • david
Q5

What role does communication play in the story?

The movie highlights how unspoken grief and emotional inadequacy erode communication between partners. The couple's avoidance of discussing their pain creates distance and amplifies conflicts. A crisis involving their neighbors ultimately forces them toward honest dialogue, which becomes essential for healing.

  • communication
  • relationship
  • dialogue
  • marriage
  • emotional distance
Q6

What is the tone of What We Wanted?

The film has a predominantly melancholic tone, driven by the couple's unspoken grief and pervasive sense of loss. However, it is not without moments of tender hope. The slow pacing reflects the character-focused narrative, allowing space for reflection and unresolved tension.

  • tone
  • mood
  • melancholy
  • emotional
  • pacing
Q7

What does the Sardinian setting represent in the film?

Sardinia represents both escape and confrontation. The beautiful resort with its sun, sea, and vacation routines contrasts sharply with the couple's internal longing for a child. The lively neighboring family in this setting intensifies the tension between what they have and what they yearn for.

  • sardinia
  • vacation
  • setting
  • contrast
  • escape
Q8

Who is Alice in What We Wanted?

Alice is a married woman portrayed by Lavinia Wilson, struggling with infertility and the grief of failed IVF attempts. During the vacation she experiences emotional exhaustion, envy, and a brief disappearance that becomes a symbolic turning point. She is introspective and ultimately seeks grounding and reconciliation.

  • alice
  • lavinia wilson
  • character
  • infertility
  • grief
Q9

Who is Niklas in What We Wanted?

Niklas is Alice's husband, played by Elyas M'Barek. He shares the burden of infertility but processes his pain through tension and withdrawal. His arc focuses on rebuilding closeness and trust with Alice after their emotional ordeal, learning to balance empathy with the frustration of their situation.

  • niklas
  • elyas mbarek
  • character
  • husband
  • infertility
Q10

When does What We Wanted take place?

The story unfolds in contemporary present-day times within a European setting. It mirrors current social dynamics around infertility, IVF treatments, and marital strain. The Sardinian vacation provides a specific time-bound setting where these modern relationship challenges play out.

  • present day
  • contemporary
  • time period
  • modern
Q11

What does What We Wanted say about healing?

The film portrays healing as a gradual process requiring acceptance and vulnerability. Alice's return after her disappearance grounds her and signals a shift toward acceptance. The shared vulnerability during a neighbor's crisis helps the couple reconnect, leading to a fragile peace and a future defined by choice rather than expectation.

  • healing
  • acceptance
  • growth
  • recovery
  • resolution

Movie threads

More Movies Like What We Wanted, by Mood & Story

Curated lists built around what makes What We Wanted tick: the same mood, the same kind of story or the same emotional payoff. Each list explains why these movies belong together.

Movies about couples in crisis on vacation like What We Wanted

Beautiful destinations backdrop intimate relationship breakdowns and quiet despair. If you appreciated the emotional tension of What We Wanted, explore these other movies where beautiful vacations expose deep cracks in relationships. Discover similar dramas about marriage, grief, and intimate struggles set against scenic backdrops.

  • marital strain
  • melancholic
  • introspective
  • scenic contrast
  • emotional drama
  • quiet tension
  • Tone: melancholic, tense, bittersweet
  • Pacing: slow, reflective
Why these movies?

The story pattern: The narrative follows a couple whose relationship is tested during a getaway. The external beauty of the location highlights their internal conflict, often involving grief, miscommunication, or a fundamental rift. The journey focuses on whether the bond can withstand the pressure or if the vacation becomes an ending.

Why they belong together: Movies are grouped here for their shared focus on using a vacation setting to explore marital or partnership strain. They share a melancholic tone, slow pacing that allows for introspection, and a heavy emotional weight centered on the fragility of human connection.

Movies about the emotional journey of infertility like What We Wanted

Intimate stories exploring the heavy emotional toll of childlessness. Viewers who connected with the themes of infertility and grief in What We Wanted will find more powerful stories here. This collection features dramas that explore the profound impact of child loss and the struggle to redefine a future, offering similar emotional depth.

  • infertility
  • grief
  • emotional healing
  • marriage crisis
  • melancholic
  • hopeful
  • Tone: heavy, melancholic, bittersweet
  • Pacing: slow, deliberate
Why these movies?

The story pattern: The narrative centers on characters grappling with the profound grief and personal identity crisis stemming from infertility or the loss of a child. It's a character-driven journey that explores the impact on a partnership, the isolation of the experience, and the difficult path toward acceptance or an alternative form of hope.

Why they belong together: These films are united by their central focus on the theme of infertility and its devastating emotional consequences. They share a heavy emotional weight, a melancholic or bittersweet tone, and a slow, deliberate pacing that allows the audience to sit with the characters' pain and tentative steps toward healing.

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Movies Like What We Wanted

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Every angle

What We Wanted (2020) Explained: Plot, Timeline & Characters

Everything about What We Wanted in one place: what happens in the plot summary, the timeline in chronological order, the characters and meaning and a spoiler-free summary. What's After the Movie adds the cast, box office and post-credit scenes.

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