Garfield’s Babes and Bullets

Bored and curious, Garfield rummages a closet and finds a trenchcoat and fedora. He puts them on and drifts into a film-noir persona as if he were Sam Spayed, a down-on-his-luck private investigator. The room seems to tilt into smoky shadows and hardboiled narration folds around him.

Tanya visits the investigator in his office and explains that her husband, Professor O'Tabby, apparently drove off a cliff. She believes foul play was involved, since he was an excellent driver and the death was ruled an accident. Sam agrees to take the case, drawn by the mystery and her anxious plea.

At the morgue, there is no solid proof of murder, but Sam notices unusual yellowish-brown stains on O'Tabby's shirt, chest, and stomach. He pockets a mysterious painted 'stone' that the coroner overlooks, hinting at a hidden clue. The discovery keeps the possibility of foul play alive in his mind.

Sam proceeds to O'Tabby's workplace at the university and meets Professor O'Felix, a colleague and former advisor. O'Felix recounts that O'Tabby was on his way to visit an elderly benefactress that night, dismissing the affair theory. He describes the professor's only weakness as coffee addiction, not romance.

Back at the office, Sam phones Tanya to share his early findings. Kitty, his newly hired secretary, accidentally spills coffee on him when he mentions potential 'woman trouble,' introducing a comic yet telling setback. The spill foreshadows the coffee-centric nature of the case and its clues.

While cleaning up, Sam realizes the so-called stone is actually a ceramic fragment from a broken coffee mug, and the stains are coffee rather than blood. This breakthrough leads him to suspect Kitty, who had ties to O'Tabby before she joined his staff. He accuses Kitty of murder, convinced her motive was unrequited love.

Kitty scratches back against the accusation, tearing up and explaining she did not kill O'Tabby. She reveals she had worked for him previously and simply filled his prescriptions for sleeping pills to counter his coffee-induced insomnia. The confession clears her of murder but deepens the web of deceit around O'Tabby's death.

Using the newly uncovered inconsistencies, Sam deduces that Professor O'Felix murdered O'Tabby out of jealousy and ambition. He spikes O'Tabby's coffee with sleeping pills, causing the fatal crash. Sam brings O'Felix to court to face justice for the murder.

Tanya visits Sam one last time to discuss the case and makes it clear that the romance he hoped for will never happen. The professional victory doesn't translate into personal payoff, leaving Sam largely alone with his noir fantasy. The moment highlights the bittersweet tone of the investigation.

Kitty attempts to seduce Sam, complicating the noir fantasy and testing his suspicions. Just then, owner Jon Arbuckle asks Garfield what he's doing in the closet, breaking the fourth wall. Garfield replies with a wink to the audience and returns to the closet to keep the fantasy alive.

In a wrap-up of the legal thread, O'Felix's guilt is established in court, and the case is closed as Sam's deductions prove decisive. The murder mystery resolves with justice for O'Tabby, even as personal connections remain unresolved. The noir fantasy fades as the courtroom scene ends.

Garfield returns to his closet, the fantasy continuing as the action seems to wind down. He mutters his mock-heroic line as credits begin to roll, lingering in the noir mood long after the case is closed. The meta moment seals the playful blend of film noir and comic-strip whimsy.