In this captivating narrative, a dedicated documentary crew immerses themselves into the mysterious lives of four quirky vampires - Viago, Vladislav, Deacon, and Petyr - who share a bizarre household in Wellington's Te Aro suburb. Each vampire boasts distinct supernatural abilities, ranging from levitation to shape-shifting. Viago, a debonair 17th-century gentleman, originally journeyed to New Zealand in the 1940s to find his everlasting love, Katherine. Vladislav, a 12th-century despot nicknamed "Vladislav the Poker," grapples with haunting memories of his rival, "the Beast." Meanwhile, Deacon, a rebellious 19th-century hustler, was converted into a vampire by the enigmatic Petyr, an ancient and reclusive creature reminiscent of Count Orlok, who acts more like a wild animal.
As dusk descends, Viago, Vladislav, and Deacon set out onto the bustling streets of Wellington, on the prowl for unsuspecting victims. Their human aide, Jackie, caters to their nocturnal requirements—bringing them sustenance and cleaning up after their feasting escapades. Unknown to the vampires, Jackie harbors her own longing for immortality, frustrated that Deacon has yet to fulfill his promise of granting her eternal life. To quench their insatiable thirst, Deacon enlists Jackie to lure virgins for their feeding. She successfully tricks a woman from her past who has wronged her—along with her ex-boyfriend Nick— to their flat, though neither are actually virgins. The woman meets a brutal fate, while Nick narrowly evades death, only to be caught and turned into one of the undead by Petyr.
Fast forward two months, and the vampires embrace Nick as one of their own, establishing an unexpected camaraderie with Stu, a computer analyst who introduces them to contemporary technology. Viago takes to the Internet to reconnect with Katherine, who is now a 96-year-old widow living in a Wellington nursing home, and revives old ties with his former servant, Philip.
As Nick grapples with adapting to his new identity as a vampire, he encounters disdain from Deacon, who is irritated by Nick's burgeoning popularity and his habit of carelessly revealing their secret to outsiders. One fateful day, a relentless vampire hunter infiltrates their flat in daylight, intent on exposing Petyr to sunlight, leading to the ancient vampire's tragic end. The vampires’ rage escalates, culminating in their ire aimed at Nick for his inadvertent role in Petyr's demise. In a climactic confrontation, Deacon attempts to eliminate Nick, but Viago intervenes with his hypnotic charms, rendering the trio oblivious to the chaos surrounding them. Eventually, they decide to banish Nick, granting Stu a unique exception to visit at will.
Months later, the undead community gathers for the annual Unholy Masquerade, an extravagant mix of vampires, zombies, and witches. Vladislav's disdain for the event is palpable, especially upon discovering that Pauline, his former girlfriend, has assumed the persona of "The Beast." When Viago and Deacon enter the masquerade, they're taken aback to find Nick, Stu, and Jackie in attendance—Jackie now fully under Nick's vampiric spell. The shocking revelation sends ripples of surprise through the party, as it becomes evident that Stu and his camera crew are merely mortals.
As tensions rise and the revelers narrow in on the intruders, Vladislav confronts Pauline's new partner, Julian, leading to a daring act that sees Stu impale Julian on a flagpole. The vampires, alongside the camera crew, make a hasty escape, stumbling into a pack of werewolves lurking in the moonlit shadows. The ensuing chaos results in Stu and one of his cameramen falling victim to the werewolves' wrath. Believing Stu to be dead, the vampires flee in dismay, mourning their perceived loss.
Time passes before Nick returns to the flat with a surprising twist—Stu has miraculously survived the werewolf attack and now walks among them as a lycanthrope. The pack leader encourages the vampires to accept Stu back into their fold, and Deacon ultimately concedes, welcoming the werewolves into their unconventional family. Meanwhile, Viago rekindles his romance with Katherine, ultimately transforming her into one of the undead as well.
As the film concludes, viewers are treated to a series of heartfelt vignettes, illustrating the aftermath of their escapades: Vladislav has rekindled his troubled romance with Pauline; Jackie's husband has embraced the role of her familiar; and Deacon makes one last attempt to hypnotize the audience into oblivion, leaving a legacy of laughter, love, and chaos.
