Love Stinks

Seth Winnick, a wealthy sitcom writer-producer, meets Chelsea Turner at their friends' wedding. They are instantly drawn to each other, despite Seth arriving with a different date. The attraction is strong enough that they leave the wedding together.

Chelsea imposes a rule that she will not have sex until they've shared at least three meals. Seth orchestrates a rapid sequence of activities to meet that condition, spanning the evening. The night ends with an intimate encounter in Chelsea's showroom.

Within weeks, Chelsea declares love after four weeks, while Seth remains hesitant about rushing into commitment. The mismatch in their timing becomes a point of tension. This early conflict foreshadows the tumult to come.

Chelsea's cat disappears, prompting her to move into Seth's house despite his reservations. A few days later, the cat inexplicably reappears, offering a brief pause in the mounting tensions. The change amplifies their fragile dynamic.

On a romantic Valentine’s Day getaway, Chelsea expects a proposal but instead receives jewelry. Seth explains that it’s too soon to propose, but vows to propose in a year if things feel right. The emotional tempo remains high and uncertain.

Weeks later, Chelsea disrupts the filming of Seth's sitcom when she sees he has cast an attractive actress, Tawny. Larry Garnett counsels Seth to work things out rather than end the relationship. The trust between them remains fragile.

Over the next year, the couple fights constantly, then reconciles with wild makeup sex. On Valentine's Day, Seth gives Chelsea diamond earrings instead of a proposal, triggering her fury. She ends the relationship and throws the earrings into the Pacific.

Chelsea files a palimony lawsuit, threatening to claim his house and half of his assets. Seth's lawyer warns that the case could cost him hundreds of thousands of dollars. The legal pressure adds a new dimension to an already volatile relationship.

Chelsea moves back into Seth's house, and the conflict escalates with cat-related schemes designed to disrupt his life. Seth retaliates by kidnapping Chelsea's cat and using it to trick her into jumping from the Santa Monica Pier into filthy ocean water. The feud intensifies into a deadly game of one-upmanship.

The couple briefly reach a tense agreement, sealed with angry hateful sex. Chelsea's lawyer pushes for a reneging, and a restraining order is filed to force Seth to move out. The relationship enters a new legal phase with both sides embattled.

Pushed to the breaking point, Seth takes Chelsea to a planetarium and proposes. She demands to see the ring before accepting, and finally agrees after being shown a ring. He arranges to sell his house to start anew and plans a Las Vegas wedding to ensure no family drama.

In Las Vegas, the wedding goes forward with an Elvis impersonator, despite friends' misgivings. Seth reveals that the engagement was a ploy and that the ring had been artificially appraised as a real diamond worth $75,000. Chelsea shoots Seth in the buttocks during the ceremony, and chaos erupts as police arrive.