Paul Bland, a true connoisseur of fine wines, finds himself toiling away in a modest wine shop, where his refined palate is often at odds with the establishment's rather basic offerings. His enchanting wife, Mary Woronov, works as a nurse and frequently faces unwelcome advances from overly eager patients. As their financial situation grows dire, the couple grapples with the disheartening possibility that their long-held aspiration of opening a restaurant may remain just a distant dream.
In their bedroom, the Blands create a personal sanctuary, a space to retreat from the chaos of the outside world and indulge their unique quirks—particularly their strict aversion to intimacy. Remarkably, they choose to sleep in separate twin beds, a testament to their unwavering moral code. However, the bustling life of their apartment building serves as a stark contrast, illustrating the hedonism that constantly surrounds them.
One fateful evening, their mundane existence is shattered when a drunken reveler crashes into their home, intent on wreaking havoc. Paul, driven by an instinctual need to protect his beloved wife, grabs a cast-iron frying pan and delivers a decisive blow to the intruder's head. With the would-be assailant helplessly sprawled on the floor, Paul and Mary are suddenly presented with a bizarre opportunity, leading to an unspoken agreement that will forever alter their lives.
Embracing a newfound entrepreneurial spirit, they decide to target "rich perverts," exploiting their basest desires for monetary gain. Doris, a reliable figure at their apartment's lively gatherings, guides them on how to capitalize on their criminal enterprise, steering them towards the lucrative world of classified ads and clandestine encounters.
As the Blands thrive in this dubious venture, they make moves to safeguard Paul's prized wine collection, opting to install a new lock. However, their plans take an unexpected turn when Raoul Mendoza, an unsuspecting locksmith, stumbles upon the grim aftermath of their latest crime.
Faced with a dilemma, Paul and Raoul must choose between exposing one another or entering into a morally questionable arrangement that allows them to continue their profitable yet illicit activities. With their fates entwined, it's evident that the dynamics between them will bear the weight of a clandestine understanding.
As the evening draws on without a hint of their anticipated client, Paul decides to leave Mary behind to gather essential items—a fresh load of groceries and a new frying pan, one more suitable for their deadly aspirations. Alone and tense, Mary awaits their customer's arrival, and just as unease settles in, the door swings open, revealing the familiar face of a potential buyer with sinister intentions. Fortunately, Raoul arrives just in time to neutralize the threat, showcasing his skills as he swiftly dispatches the predator. The two retreat to the bedroom, entangled in a moment of twisted passion.
However, Paul's escalating suspicion acts as a potent aphrodisiac for Mary. She finds herself drawn back into Raoul's clutches after their nocturnal encounter. Oblivious to his double life, she remains unaware that Raoul has been profiting from the aftermath of the victims they've brutally disposed of, ensuring profits end up in his own pocket—a shocking revelation that propels Paul into a vigilante role.
Raoul's relentless pursuit of Mary intensifies, and during a close encounter, he nearly collides with Paul in his desperate advances. In response to the chaos, Paul seeks aid from Doris, a mysterious dominatrix posing as both an immigration officer and a public health worker to deflect Raoul's relentless attention. Yet, even these desperate measures fail to deter Raoul from his fixation on Mary.
As tensions rise, the Blands find their dream of establishing a restaurant jeopardized by the threat of losing their property to another buyer. Desperation drives them to a wild swingers' party in search of easy prey, where Mary unexpectedly confronts Mr. Leech, a potential financial backer who had previously rebuffed her. In a swift and cold decision, she transforms a rattail comb into an instrument of death, unceremoniously disposing of his body from the window.
Fleeing the chaotic scene, the Blands come to realize that their presence hasn't gone unnoticed. The furious host demands they participate in a communal hot tub with other guests or face dire consequences. Fueled by rage, Paul retaliates by hurling an electric space heater into the hot tub, sending partygoers to a watery demise and clearing the path to plunder the abandoned vehicles outside.
Just as they attempt to come to terms with the aftermath of their heinous actions, Raoul reemerges, filled with liquid courage and empty threats towards Paul. Yet Mary sees this as a perfect opportunity to eliminate Raoul once and for all. She entices him into the kitchen, where he meets a fittingly gruesome end at the frying pan that has been an emblem of their bloody escapades. As the dust settles from yet another crime, Paul and Mary are compelled to reconsider the chilling costs and twisted desires driving their actions.
In an unsettling twist, Mary divulges her affair with Raoul to a stunned Paul, only to find that he was already aware of her tryst. While this revelation brings an awkward tension, the couple quickly pivots their focus back to pressing matters. James, their real estate agent and mediator for their restaurant endeavor, is scheduled to arrive for dinner soon, and with their pantry bare of any viable ingredients, creativity must flourish. In a most bizarre turn, they decide to prepare Raoul as the main dish, humorously dubbing the unorthodox meal as "Spanish-inspired." As the evening unfolds, the Blands achieve a significant milestone—successfully securing the deal on a new property for Paul's and Mary's Country Kitchen, now a reality amidst their darkly comedic escapades.
