Before I Die

Tessa is diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia, and after four years of chemotherapy, she learns that her cancer is terminal with only a short time left. In the face of this harsh reality, she teams up with her best friend, Zoey, to craft a bucket list—a collection of experiences and choices she believes are essential to truly having “lived.” The list pushes boundaries and includes some risky behaviors, all aimed at reclaiming a sense of agency and meaning in the scarce time she has left. As the plan takes shape, Zoey’s support remains strong and encouraging, helping Tessa weigh pleasure, danger, and resolve in equal measure.

A sudden unplanned pregnancy test adds an unexpected complication to the unfolding plan, intensifying the emotional stakes for everyone involved. The story widens its scope to look at how family dynamics shape Tessa’s journey. Her parents are divorced and hold starkly different views about what she should do with her remaining time. The mother is affectionate and lighthearted about the situation, appearing supportive, yet she keeps a distance from Tessa’s treatments and her day-to-day life past a surface level. The father, by contrast, is timid and focused on cherishing whatever moments he can still share with his daughter, even as he clings to denial. He spends long hours on the computer, researching possible treatments for her in a persistent effort to hold back the harsh truth that the disease has overwhelmed her body.

Tessa’s brother, Cal, presents a counterpoint to the adults’ reactions. He is brutally honest and experiences a spectrum of feelings—from apathy and jealousy to deep sadness—as he processes the news of his sister’s illness. In one early moment, he bluntly tells his sister, “I’m gonna miss you,” a line that underscores the complex blend of humor and heartbreak that threads through their relationship.

Among the people who influence her dwindling days is a neighbor named Adam. He is shy, with a gentle demeanor, and his life revolves around caring for his sickly mother after his father’s death. Tessa starts to wonder if love might be possible with him, adding a thread of romantic possibility to her already fragile but determined pursuit of meaningful experiences before she dies.

The narration is told in the first person from Tessa’s perspective, giving readers an intimate window into her thoughts, fears, and evolving feelings as she navigates her last months. The lens focuses on how she interprets her relationships with those she loves—her family, Zoey, and Adam—as she copes with a failing body and the emotional weight of impending loss. The story not only follows the bucket list and the choices it spurs but also maps the quieter, more intimate moments of connection: the conversations with her parents that reveal their vulnerabilities, the honest exchanges with Cal that expose their bond as siblings, and the tentative steps toward potential love with a neighbor who himself bears the responsibilities of caretaking.

Throughout, the emphasis remains on staying true to the moment—how small joys, stubborn hope, and the fierce need to feel alive intersect with the realities of terminal illness. The narrative examines resilience in the face of a fragile life, asking what it means to truly live when time is finite. It portrays the love and conflict that shape a family under pressure, the steadfast friendship that champions a person’s agency, and the quiet longing for connection that persists even as a body weakens. In sum, this story traces Tessa’s intimate voyage through fear and courage, longing and humor, and the slow, deliberate shaping of a life that remains intensely human right up to the last page.

Last Updated: October 09, 2025 at 16:35