In an astonishing turn of events, Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim, two filmmakers known for their outrageous style, are unexpectedly granted a monumental budget of $1 billion to create Bonjour, Diamond Jim, featuring Johnny Depp in the lead role. This incredible funding comes from the mysterious Tommy Schlaaang, head of the Schlaaang Corporation. However, as soon as the duo gains access to their lavish finances, things escalate into a whirlwind of excess, with extravagant makeovers, sumptuous 10-course meals, and even real diamonds for Diamond Jim’s attire. They also allocate a staggering $500,000 per week for "personal shopper and spiritual guru" Jim Joe Kelly, played by Jim Joe Kelly. In an outrageous twist of fate, they inadvertently cast an impersonator to play Johnny Depp rather than the actual star. The result? A dismal film that appallingly lasts only three minutes. Furiously, the Schlaaang executives confront Tim and Eric, making them accountable for the entire $1 billion they have squandered.
With their funds rapidly dwindling to near nothing, the two find themselves facing grim prospects: either imprisonment or the wrath of Schlaaang’s enforcers. In a panic to salvage their situation, Tim and Eric plunge into a reckless downward spiral, eventually finding inspiration in a nightclub bathroom epiphany. Burning neon lights and pulsating beats lead them to an advertisement for the S'Wallow Valley Mall, which the quirky owner, Damien Weebs, claims to be a goldmine. The duo embraces this new vision, rebranding themselves as business moguls under the name Dobis PR. Their mission: acquire the run-down mall from Weebs and revamp it in a desperate effort to clear their massive debts.
While traversing the eerie and crumbling halls of the S'Wallow Valley Mall, Tim and Eric encounter a bizarre mix of characters, including Taquito, a man seemingly frozen in a child's state of mind. They also stumble upon an inexplicable store called Reggie's Used Toilet Paper Discount Warehouse. Amid this madness, they must also confront an ancient peril lurking within the food court: a man-eating wolf with a seemingly insatiable hunger.
As they struggle to overcome the many hurdles within the mall, a formidable challenge arises from Allen Bishopman, a tenacious shop owner resistant to change and dedicated to upholding the status quo. Simultaneously, Eric's unreciprocated feelings for Katie, a mall worker, embroils him in personal conflict and self-destructive behavior. In a shocking twist, Tim seizes the moment to pursue Katie while Eric is preoccupied, leading him to seek spiritual guidance at the Shrim Alternative Healing Center with Dr. Doone Struts. Yet, this quest for enlightenment takes an unexpected turn when Eric learns that Tim has taken things to the next level with Katie, culminating in a fierce showdown between them.
Despite their tireless attempts to revitalize the mall, Tim and Eric ultimately cannot meet their ambitious revenue targets. As the repercussions of their shortcomings loom closer, they are confronted by the Schlaaang Corporation watching their every move. In a gripping crescendo, a fierce shootout erupts outside the mall, resulting in the grim fatalities of several key characters. Amid the turmoil, Tim and Eric manage to secure their revenge on their corporate adversaries, only to receive a grim retribution: a death sentence for murder.
But in a jaw-dropping revelation, it is all unveiled as merely a film screened by Tim and Eric for none other than Steven Spielberg. The iconic director lauds the movie as the greatest ever made, leading our protagonists to celebrate their unexpected triumph alongside their co-stars from the Awesome Show.
