Albert Steptoe, [Wilfrid Brambell], and his son Harold Steptoe, [Harry H. Corbett], retire their faithful horse Hercules due to lameness and hatch a plan to buy a new one with Albert's £80 life savings, while tucking away £9 for emergencies. Harold returns hours later from Southall Market, drunk, and introduces Hercules the Second, a short-sighted racing greyhound. Harold reveals to Albert that he purchased this from local gangster and loan shark Frankie Barrow for the £80 plus a further £200 owed on top, and he schemes to feed and fuel the mutt with a lavish budget that seems destined to ruin them all. The pair confront the harsh reality that they may have to sell nearly everything they own to place one last, desperate bet on their dog at the races in a bid to pay off the debt.
When the dog loses, hope wavers and tensions rise, but Albert suddenly remembers a potential lifeline: he has saved £1,000 in a life insurance policy. Harold, ever the schemer, proposes a drastic plan to claim the money from his father’s policy by faking Albert’s death. They raid their junk-filled home for an old mannequin to substitute for Albert, and they ring Dr. Popplewell, a known alcoholic and myopic doctor, [Milo O'Shea], who is in no fit state to examine anyone. In a haze he proclaims that Albert has died, and the plan seems to be moving forward. The next day, Harold returns with a coffin he has been saving for the inevitable moment when his father would meet his end. Albert is horrified when Harold informs him that he even bought a tombstone because the undertaker was having a sale—Jack Carter, the uncredited undertaker, would surely approve of such thrift.
The gangsters soon arrive to collect the outstanding debt, but Harold uses the ruse of Albert’s death to stall them, explaining that the insurance payout will cover the debt. The funeral preparations proceed as old friends visit to pay their respects, unaware of the deception. An entire army of mourners descends on the Steptoe house, and the coffin itself is packed with scrap metal to mimic the weight of a corpse while Albert stays hidden upstairs. Mr Russell from the insurance company arrives, and Harold must face the truth about the policy. He discovers that the payout would have gone to a longtime lover Albert met back in 1949 while Harold was in the army in Malaya, due to a clause in the policy. When Harold demands why the policy wasn’t amended, Albert’s simple reply is: > I forgot.
The plan to bring Albert back to life is hatched, and the two men ride on to the cemetery with the coffin in tow. Inside, Albert slips into a deep sleep instead of waking, and nothing seems to rouse him. Harold tries to revive him during the journey, but a collision with the back of a removal truck nearly ends the entire ruse. The mourners, thinking Harold to be in distress, decide to carry on to the funeral and even escort him to the hospital to be treated, while the ceremony itself continues without him. In a twist of fate, the hospital visit is aborted when Harold flees and hails a taxi to the cemetery.
At the cemetery, a mishap with a tomb causes Albert to awaken, and his sudden reappearance frightens everyone away. The vicar flees, and Harold looks as if he were one of the living dead. Returning home, the Steptoes learn that the insurance payout would have gone to Harold anyway, because Albert had inserted a clause that paid out if his mistress ever married. Harold cashes the policy and receives £876, enough to clear their debts, buy a new horse, and outfit new riding gear. Yet his appetite for risk remains, and he elects to invest the rest of the money in a share of another racehorse. The only caveat is the name of his partner—the surprising and regal designation: HM Queen.
