Rustlers’ Rhapsody

The film opens with a voiceover speculating how an old Rex O'Herlihan film would feel if made today. It then shifts from black-and-white to color and upgrades the soundtrack from mono to surround sound. The moment playfully hints that Rex already knows the meta-plot of the movie he inhabits.

Rex rides into Oakwood Estates aboard his high-stepping horse Wildfire and walks into a saloon. He meets Peter, the Town Drunk, who explains the town's tensions between sheep herders and cattle ranchers. Rex also learns about Miss Tracy and the corrupt sheriff who enforces the ranchers' control.

Blackie, the foreman at Rancho Ticonderoga, arrives with two henchmen and shoots a sheep herder and the town's real-estate agent. Miss Tracy objects to the abuse, and Rex steps in to defend her. Blackie menaces Rex, threatening to shoot his hand, setting the stage for a deadly clash.

During the ensuing gunplay, Blackie is shot in the back by his own men, who turn on him. Rex retaliates by shooting the two henchmen and then orders Blackie's corpse carried away. The bar erupts, and Rex asserts control over the violent confrontation.

Peter swaps his drunk disguise for a sidekick outfit and begins following Rex as he moves through the town. Rex has sworn off sidekicks because they tend to die, yet he reluctantly accepts Peter as a companion. The pair prepare for the escalating conflict to come.

At the singing cowboy's campsite, two women—Miss Tracy and the Colonel's daughter—appear with interest in Rex. Their presence hints at personal entanglements amid the town's looming showdown. Rex remains focused on the wider fight, though the attention unnerves him.

The Colonel goes to the bosses of the railroad, who wear dusters, to seek an alliance against the sheep herders. The two powerful factions share a common interest in maintaining control and wealth, cementing a dangerous coalition. Rex watches these moves and senses the scale of the threat.

Rex outwits the Bad Guys by seeming to predict their every move and staying steps ahead. He maintains control while the rest of the town teems with tension. The mastermind behind the scheme remains elusive, but Rex's awareness keeps him ahead.

Wrangler Bob Barber enters and challenges Rex's self-appointed status as the 'most good Good Guy.' He argues that a Good Guy must be a 'confident heterosexual,' sparking a charged, wry exchange. Rex retorts with his usual bravado but is clearly unsettled by the test.

Rex decides to back down from a direct shootout, choosing prudence over bravado. He explains to Peter that being a good guy isn't about empty spectacle but about responsibility and timing. The moment signals a shift in Rex's tactics.

Before leaving town, Rex philosophizes that his routine is to ride in, kiss the girls, and ride out again. He jokes about dating in the 1880s and the social rituals that accompany courtship. The remark reveals his offbeat code and his detachment from conventional heroism.

Bob reports to the Colonel that Rex is finished as a Good Guy, undermining Rex's credibility. Against this setback, the Colonel orders Peter to be bushwhacked, raising the stakes for Rex. The town braces for a violent reckoning.

Rex rallies the sheep herders and confronts the combined forces of the ranchers and railroad men. He leverages the town's grievances to mount a stand and protect the vulnerable. The stage is set for a decisive showdown.

In the climactic confrontation, Rex defeats the bad guys by finishing off Bob Barber, exposing him as not a true Good Guy because he is a lawyer. The act shatters Rex's own self-image but reasserts his control over the town's fate. The resolution tightens the narrative before the final sunset.

Colonel Ticonderoga makes peace with Rex and hosts a celebratory party at Rancho Ticonderoga. Rex and Peter ride off into the sunset, with Peter surviving thanks to a bulletproof vest. The closing image leaves a paradoxical note on heroism within a self-referential Western.