The film centers around a character known as The Chosen One (Steve Oedekerk), who embarks on a quest filled with action and humor as he roams from town to town, searching for the man responsible for his family's murder on the very night of his birth, a mission ordered by the enigmatic Evil Council. From a young age, he demonstrates remarkable martial arts skills, which only become more pronounced as he matures, granting him the ability to engage in legendary confrontations.
Upon arriving in a new town, he seeks guidance from Master Tang, a rather ailing and somewhat eccentric Sifu. Initially skeptical, Master Tang's doubts dissipate when The Chosen One reveals his unique identifying mark—a living face named Tonguey on his tongue. After this revelation, Master Tang decides to take him under his wing in the dojo, where he also introduces two of his students: Wimp Lo, who mistakenly trained as a joke, and Ling, whom Master Tang bluntly suggests will develop feelings for The Chosen One.
As The Chosen One undergoes training, he showcases exaggerated, cartoonish displays of strength, provoking envy and hostility from Wimp Lo, who perceives him as a rival. The plot thickens when Master Pain, the very man who attempted to kill him in infancy, makes his arrival known. This formidable foe reveals his prowess in a shocking public display where he withstands brutal assaults from his henchmen without a hint of pain, even going so far as to change his name to Betty after gaining favor from the local mayor.
In a comedic turn, The Chosen One employs a peculiar strategy by hiring folks to hit him, hoping to gain strength, but this ill-fated venture leads to his immediate knockout. Upon waking, a mysterious woman named Whoa, who intriguingly has a single, large breast, descends from the sky. She warns The Chosen One that he is not yet ready to confront Betty but briefly engages in playful martial arts before taking flight.
Despite her warning, The Chosen One sets his sights on Betty, encountering one of his adversaries, Moo Nieu (pronounced "moon you"), a karate-practicing Holstein cow with an udder that serves as an unexpected weapon. Their confrontation parodies iconic moments from The Matrix, culminating in The Chosen One incapacitating Moo Nieu by milking her dry.
As The Chosen One pushes forward, he finds Betty perched atop a waterfall, preparing for battle. However, the arrival of Ling’s Father, Master Doe, intended to mediate, leads to a disastrous turn when he sustains injuries during the intervention, leading to both of them being swept over the waterfall. Bringing Ling’s Father to Master Tang reveals their longstanding friendship, but the healing process goes awry, culminating in his unfortunate demise. Overwhelmed with sadness, Ling confesses her affection for The Chosen One.
Later that night, seeking clarity, The Chosen One consults the celestial expanse. Unexpectedly, Mu-Shu Fasa, a wise and sentient lion, appears to provide guidance reminiscent of The Lion King, imparting wisdom about two distinct symbols and a message that the answers lie written in the stars above.
Returning to town, The Chosen One encounters a wave of terror inflicted by Betty, who has extended his vicious campaign against anyone perceived as an ally to The Chosen One, including Wimp Lo. In a tense moment, he discovers Ling, Master Tang, and even his beloved dog in a state of peril, but they endure, albeit with severe injuries—except for Wimp Lo, unfortunately confirmed dead.
Focusing on his training, The Chosen One battles wooden replicas of Betty, initially feeling overwhelmed by the challenges posed by the spikes embedded within his enemy. However, inspiration strikes thanks to Ling, igniting a renewed sense of purpose. Meanwhile, Betty, believing The Chosen One is defeated, is summoned by the Evil Council, who reveal their extraterrestrial origins and bestow Betty with new powers.
In a climactic showdown, while partially unconscious, The Chosen One experiences visions from both Whoa and Mu-Shu Fasa, the latter instructing him to open his mouth. Upon doing so, Tonguey leaps out, attacking the Evil Council's mother ship and igniting chaos among their ranks. This distraction provides The Chosen One the opportunity to confront Betty and ultimately vanquish him by ripping the spikes from his helpless body.
As The Chosen One returns home hand-in-hand with Ling, his journey is hinted to be far from over, teasing the potential for an adventure in a fictional sequel titled Kung Pow 2: Tongue of Fury. In a humorous post-credit scene, Master Tang is seen humorously asking for assistance against an eagle that keeps pecking at his leg.
