Kiss Me, Stupid

On a road trip that should have Paris or Los Angeles as its destination, Dino — a lecherous, heavy-drinking pop singer — is forced to detour through the dusty town of Climax, Nevada. The trip kicks off with an unexpected encounter that could only happen in a small, offbeat place: a pair of aspiring songwriters, Barney Millsap and Orville J. Spooner. Barney, a gas station attendant with a stubborn dream, and Orville, a jealous piano teacher, have a talent for melodies but little luck. They hope to pitch their tunes to the celebrity passing through, and they’re willing to bend the rules to keep their visitor in town until their parts from Los Angeles — or even Milan — arrive to fix his car.

Orville invites the star to stay with him and his wife, Zelda Spooner, a plan that quickly runs into trouble when it becomes clear that Dino’s nightly sexual appetite is more a medical concern than a mere habit. Fearing the strain on his own marriage, Orville stages a quarrel with Zelda, driving her away in tears. In a calculated move, he and Barney arrange for Polly the Pistol, a waitress at the Belly Button saloon who also works as a prostitute, to masquerade as Orville’s wife and keep Dino satisfied without jeopardizing the real relationship.

That evening, the trio shares dinner while Orville plays his own tunes on the piano and Polly requests a particular song — a number he wrote to woo his wife. The moment hits hard for both Orville and Polly; it taps into a longing for a stable domestic life that neither of them currently has. Under the influence of wine and music, Orville begins imagining Polly as his wife and persuades Dino to leave, after which he spends the night with Polly.

Dino seeks refuge at the Belly Button, where Zelda had earlier wandered, despondent. The manager had placed her in Polly’s trailer to sleep after she became loud and unruly. When Dino learns of Polly’s talents and declares his eagerness “to shoot it out with her,” he goes to the trailer and encounters Zelda, mistaking her for Polly. Zelda, a devoted longtime fan, allows Dino to seduce her, all while she’s convinced that Orville’s song would be perfect for him.

The next morning, Zelda meets Polly and uncovers the deception Orville and Barney cooked up. She passes Dino’s money to Polly, who uses it to leave Climax and start a new life away from the town.

A few nights later, Orville faces the grim prospect of Zelda divorcing him, with Barney acting as a witness for her. Then a television moment shatters his confusion: Dino is performing one of the duo’s songs on national TV, and Orville is left with more questions than answers. In the midst of bewilderment, Zelda speaks with a quiet, defiant insistence that sums up the whole affair: “Kiss me, stupid.”

Last Updated: October 09, 2025 at 10:46