“I Could Have Been A Hooker” (also known as “I Could've Been a Hooker”) is a thought-provoking film that explores complex themes of trauma, guilt, and transformation. Part of the DVD extra features for the U.S. release of the French movie “Names of Love”, this film shares a connection through its plot: both feature women who were molested as children by their piano teacher, Monsieur Boyer, played by Jean-Claude Deret. Despite this shared backstory, the two stories are separate, with different characters and plots, but they intersect thematically around the lasting impact of childhood abuse and the ways women cope with their past.
The story revolves around a young woman who, in a moment of emotional turbulence, impulsively buys a pair of garden shears. Her brief bout of distress appears to be a genuine near-fainting spell, which is then quickly followed by her instinct to chase after a compassionate stranger who lives nearby. Her interactions with this man are intense and charged as she repeatedly attempts to initiate a deeper connection with him. However, he remains clear about his boundaries, insisting he's not interested in spending time with or becoming involved with her.
Over dinner and casual conversation, she confesses that her reason for buying the garden shears is rooted in a desire to prevent her childhood abuser, her former piano teacher, from harming other children. She openly shares that her mission is to castrate him—her way of taking justice into her own hands and breaking free from her traumatic past. She then offers a poignant reflection on how women who endured similar childhood abuse often turn to promiscuity, though she herself has never accepted money for sex, which is why she emphasizes the meaning behind the title.
Her emotional state is further revealed when her careless drinking leads to a playful yet poignant scene where the man tries to clean stains on her blouse with his special recipe. She insists she is "stained," and he denies this, prompting her to challenge him—if he can remove every stain, she will sleep with him. His renewed vigor and insistence hint at a burgeoning connection, hinting that he might be open to her advances despite his initial reservations.
Later that night, the woman is found naked on the balcony of his apartment, exposing a vulnerable and raw moment. This scene triggers her to reflect on her mission, and she leaves abruptly after sitting down at her piano, playing a melody that triggers her memories. Her old piano teacher's apartment is nearby, and driven by her unresolved feelings, she approaches it. She knocks on his door, holding the garden shears as her weapon of choice. The elderly man, visibly shaken and recognizing her, turns pale at the sight and realization of her intent. Despite his infirmity and feeble attempt to escape, she recognizes that causing him harm might not bring healing or closure.
In a powerful moment of clarity, she chooses mercy—understanding that hatred and revenge will not mend the wounds of her past. She departs, leaving the garden shears behind, and reunites with the man outside, their emotional connection culminating in an embrace and a kiss, symbolizing hope for healing and forgiveness.
Throughout this deeply human story, the film poignantly portrays how past trauma influences present choices and how understanding and compassion can sometimes lead to unexpected paths of redemption. It’s a subtle yet intense narrative that delves into the inner struggles faced by women scarred by childhood abuse—highlighting both vulnerability and resilience—while exploring themes of justice, forgiveness, and the complex nature of human relationships.
