Lesbian Vampire Killers

Jimmy and Fletch escape their bad luck in London after Jimmy's girlfriend dumps him and Fletch loses his clown job. They decide to hike to a remote village in Norfolk that they find on an old map, hoping for a fresh start. The mood is a mixture of frustration and fragile optimism as they set out together.

As they approach the village pub, they see a crowd of locals and several foreign history students leaving. A morose vibe hangs in the air and a crazed vicar claims Jimmy is a descendant of a vampire slayer. The encounter hints at danger looming over the village.

The students plan to stay the night at a cottage; Jimmy and Fletch decide to follow the group. They chase the students' van when its engine fails and finally meet Heidi, Lotte, Anke, and Trudi. They are invited to join the party on the van, extending their escape plan.

The group arrives at the cottage and learns the village is cursed: every female child turns into a lesbian vampire on her 18th birthday. An old legend speaks of Carmilla and a revenant plot tied to Baron Mclaren, who supposedly killed Carmilla and cursed the land. The curse is tied to the blood of the last McLaren and a virgin girl's blood.

Heidi and Anke are turned into vampires, and Trudi is soon transformed as well. Eva, Carmilla's mistress, begins drawing Lotte toward her growing clan. The mood shifts from curiosity to danger as the party realizes the village is now under vampire rule.

After the van is destroyed by the pursuing vampires, the trio barricades themselves inside the cottage. Jimmy's ex-girlfriend Judi arrives at the door and Jimmy, reluctant to abandon the relationship, takes her into the bedroom. Lotte confesses she is a virgin and wants to sleep with Jimmy, adding emotional tension.

The vicar researches the vampire slayer who killed Carmilla and arms himself, setting off to find Jimmy. Judi reveals herself to be a vampire, and after a struggle, Fletch and Jimmy kill her. The vampires approach the cottage and Jimmy accidentally invites them in.

Eva discovers that Jimmy is the descendant of Baron Mclaren who killed Carmilla, and that Lotte is a virgin. She kidnaps Jimmy and Lotte, escalating the danger as the vampires close in on the cottage. The vicar and Fletch rush to save them.

The vicar checks on his daughter Rebecca, who has been turned into a vampire. Rebecca attempts to seduce Fletch, but the moment turns deadly when she is inadvertently impaled on the Sword of Daeldo as she attacks. Fletch keeps the incident to himself, not revealing the truth to the vicar.

At Carmilla's tomb, Lotte proclaims her love for Jimmy and candles flicker as Carmilla is resurrected. The vicar uses his resources and sacrifices himself so the others can reach the car for the sword. Eva leads a desperate assault as the trio scrambles to prepare.

The trio reach the woods with various weapons, but forget to bring the Sword of Daeldo on their first pass. They eventually connect with the others to continue their mission, while Carmilla's shadow lingers. The plan shifts to retrieving the sacred sword that killed Carmilla.

Eva severs Lotte from the group and attacks her; Lotte fights back with a cross necklace, killing Eva and enraging Carmilla. Fletch and Jimmy race for weapons to prevent Lotte from being turned.

Jimmy hurls the sacred Sword of Daeldo, piercing Carmilla's heart and destroying her. The vampire threat is defeated and the village is freed from the curse for now. The survivors, battered but determined, vow to continue eradicating evil whenever it returns.

Survivors Jimmy, Fletch, and Lotte vow to continue fighting evil wherever it arises. They drive away from the village with the weight of their battles behind them, ready for whatever comes next.